Good Evening my Sweetlings,
Time seems to be flying by as we draw closer and closer to the end of 2013, I can hardly believe today is Christmas Eve! It's been an eventful year, with so much going on, and I wanted to sit down and really dedicate some time to thinking it over, and pulling together the lessons, challenges and wonderful magic that I've experienced this year.
I made a list of goals for myself at the start of the year so I think now would be the perfect time to see how many I achieved. I'm excited to make another for 2014, I have such a fantastic feeling about this new year that is sitting on the doorstep and I'm so excited to see what will happen.
(One of my absolute favorite photos from this year, snuggling into a tree in the Chalice Wells in Glastonbury. I felt so at home there, and I was in such amazing company.)
Looking at this list, I think I can confidently say that I managed to achieve about half of the goals I set for myself this year. I went to the New Forest with my lovely friend Monsta and my folks, I found a part time job that I enjoyed for the most part and which taught me many lessons in standing up for myself and connecting with others, I made lots of art with books filling up with paintings and drawings throughout the year. I made the fancy and beautiful business cards, learned to make lotions and had lots of wonderful adventures with my friends. I think I had a fair share of sleepovers! I made my parents proud, wore lots of flowers in my hair, gave gifts just because I wanted to and went to a Faerie Craft Fayre as a trader! My first fayre ever, it went rather well.
Some of my goals did not come to fruition, such as making 100 sales on Etsy, but I came very close with 75 sales at this moment, only 25 off my goal. I feel really proud of myself for how far my shop has come this year, I feel that it is growing from strength to strength with each day and I feel so happy to be able to share my passions through my creations. I love that the energy I put in actually goes to somebody when they buy something from me, it becomes manifest and I'm able to send that energy out to the world to help others. I love it! I feel as though creating for my shop gives me so many opportunities to learn about myself and the world, it encourages me to strive to expand my knowledge and experience, ultimately I think it helps me to grow and become a better person.
I didn't get interviewed or featured on Etsy, though I was interviewed by a friend for her blog, which to me was just as exciting and special as it was the first time I had ever been asked to do an interview! I could have done more interviews for my own blog, but I completely forgot that I had put this on the list. I totally failed on the artistic collaborations front, but again this was something I actually forgot I had wanted to do. I didn't ride a bike, but now I will be able to borrow my Mum's I forsee this changing (as long as I can still ride, I am definitely the exception to the rule of 'you never forget how to ride a bike', I've had to learn twice already!). I did move house and do have a garden now, but in a different way than I had anticipated. I also didn't end up sorting out my passport (I really need to!) and I didn't get my tattoo, though I've now had a year to refine it more.
Looking back over the pictures I have taken this year, my heart feels so warm and bright. 2013 has certainly had a lot of difficult moments for me, as it has for many of us I think, but those difficult times cannot overshadow the great experiences I have had this year. For all the tears of sadness, worry and confusion there have been double the amount in tears of laughter, rolling around on the floor unable to breath because I was laughing so hard. I look back on the year and remember all the nights I got to lay awake next to my dearest friends, talking in hushed voices, baring souls and telling stories. I remember sitting in cafés and restaurants and pubs, eating delicious food and talking about our hopes, dreams and goals. I remember climbing into trees, always finding the perfect ones to perch in. I remember outings to buy art supplies, or find objects for new projects, and evenings spent with a film, drawing and painting side by side. I remember a lot of singing, alone, with others, to my pets.
(Monsta and I, one of the sweetest, kindest people I know!)
2013 has been a year full of transformations for me, both subtle and dramatic. I have been surrounded by the symbolism of the caterpillar, cocoon and butterfly which has shown itself in my work as well as continuously appearing in the world around me. I feel as though I've been able to express myself much more clearly this year, and I've found that now when I speak people stop and listen to what I have to say. Over the past twelve months I realised I had a lot of work to do with the energy of my throat and voice, and I feel really great about the progress I've made in that area. I think that I've become more assertive, less afraid to let myself be heard, to speak my truth. I have struggled a lot throughout my life with being perceived as shy and 'too quiet', and I think for so much of my life I hid behind that, used it to shield myself. I struggled for a long time with feeling nervous about communicating with others, I hated trying to talk to new people. I feel as though I've come leaps and bounds in this regard and although I still get anxious when meeting new people, I now see myself as somebody who makes friends easily and puts people at ease. Over this year I have consistently had to step into new territory that often made me feel uncomfortable at first, for instance when working as a receptionist at a busy dentists when I was constantly talking on the phone to perfect strangers. I also had to learn how to talk to strangers about Reflexology in order to get case studies and complete my course. I learned that when I put myself out there with honesty and passion the results were amazing, I met wonderful people who became great friends, and who could benefit from what I can offer to the world. I also started to take to heart the things people kept saying to me, the way my friends would comment on the fact that I seem to have a magnetic personality that draws people to want to talk to me, or when clients would tell me I make them feel safe and able to talk about anything. I started to embrace those things as gifts, rather than blushing and laughing them off.
(Playing with Monsta in the photobooth, and then Monsta and her boyfriend Badger on the right)
I also feel that 2013 has been a great year for me as a Witch. I spent a lot of this year delving into a variety of spiritual books, exploring new territory and learning more about myself. I began to notice that people would refer to me as a Witch without even knowing anything about my personal path, it seemed to be something that people could just pick up naturally. It would often come out in regards to my healing practices, or when talking about my shop, and I really loved that the message of who I am and what I want to do was coming through so clearly without my even having to say anything. I've also had a lot of fun doing little bits of informal teaching this year, showing people how I blend Essential Oils or how to make incenses or candles. During my Reflexology course I was able to help with the teaching of the meridians as it was an area my tutor is still learning about, and it's been suggested that I could go back to help with teaching this and other spiritual aspects of practice to future classes. It feels wonderful when I can share the things I've learned to do with others and it made me realize that I actually love watching others learn and grow, just as much as I enjoy doing it myself.
(Myself with Moomin, my favorite fire haired lady!)
(two of my darling rat boys, Sev and Bear)
This year has also taught me a lot about letting go, clearing, cleansing and releasing. Many of these lessons have been difficult and painful as they've often involved a large element of loss. I lost many of my pets this year which sometimes felt overwhelming and unbearable, but it also taught me just how important it is for me to treasure my time with my loved ones, animal, human or otherwise. I think it showed me just how fragile life can be, but at the same time so beautiful, so strong and resilient. I learned to know when I had to let go in order to do the best for myself and the other person or creature, and I learned to follow and trust my heart in knowing what I needed to do in these cases. I went through a whole range of emotions regarding death and letting things go this year, from real fear and dread to acceptance and more peace. I know I still have many lessons to learn in these areas, but I'm hoping that as the energies change the lessons will also change. I have a feeling that one of my lessons for 2014 will be the flipside of the cycle, focusing on planting the seed, growth, birth and fruition. In some respects I've gone back to square one as we near the end of this year, but I can now look at that as a positive thing rather than the negative it is often seen as. Starting fresh has a lot of positive aspects, not least of all the time to recuperate and rest before setting out on a new journey.
(My most beloved Steffie and I in Glastonbury, I can't wait to do it again!)
(Ronon curled up under the duvet a few days after we got him)
In conclusion, as I sit here with one week left until we walk together into 2014, I can look back at 2013 and bid it farewell with a light heart. Although there has been darkness and sadness, there has also been a lot of light, joy and understanding.
(Michelle, a lovely soul who came into my life this year. Sometimes her handbags happen to contain disembodied doll heads!)
(Mama Goblin and I playing in a structure we found in the forest)
I'd love to hear how your year has been my dears, what lessons have you learned? What magic has been made?