Good Afternoon my dears,
Today I'd like to share with you my Dreamboard for August, filled with the energy of the Full Sturgeon Moon. I must admit that I have been dallying over this board, I felt the calling to create one this month and yet up until today had absolutely no idea what to put on it. I feel as though I haven't made a board in a few months, and I felt a strange nervousness about this one, as though I couldn't hear what my inner voice was telling me.
Yesterday Steven and I celebrated our 4 Year Anniversary. We went to see a film at the cinema (a horror, the first one I've ever been brave enough to see at the cinema!) and then went for a meal afterwards, overlooking the water of the marina as we ate. It was 10pm by the time we started walking home and we could not take our eyes off the Moon. She hung in the sky so perfectly full and I felt her energy kiss me, heard her sweet whisperings as I gazed upon her. I felt my chest fill up with the most all encompassing love and felt her shelter, her protection, her love of not only myself but everyone on the planet. Everything on the planet, the planet itself, everything wrapped up in the shimmering energy of the Moon.
As we walked, we talked about space, about vastness and closeness. I realized suddenly how close the Moon is to us, in the vastness of space that can feel so frightening the Moon is by our side, so close that we can see her face in perfect detail, so close that she looks as though you could reach out and run your fingers across her surface, dip your hands into the white light and come away cleansed. I felt her love strongly last night, and her light washed over me. This morning I found new inspiration, new intuition, and I was able to make my board exactly how it is meant to be.
I am so grateful for the lovely Jamie Ridler who has created such a sanctuary for learning, trusting and loving. Her prompts each month have helped me to expand so much and I find so much inspiration in her offerings and the community of dreamers.
In the Northern Hemisphere: The Full Sturgeon Moon asks: “What is your intuition telling you about your dreams?”
☾ Adventure in the Wild
I feel that my intuition is telling me that I need to surround myself with more wilderness, more spontaneity. I need to indulge my adventurers heart, my wandering spirit, my open soul. Lately Steven and I have been going on more scenic walks, stopping to gaze into the rivers, watching a coot mama on her nest, holding our breath when she stands up for a moment and we catch a glimpse of her eggs, and watching the fish lazily swimming in the sunshine, marveling at their numbers and size. We have rescued bees and climbed fences, breathed in the fragrance of sweet flowers and wandered hand in hand. The thing I am realizing about adventuring and wilderness is that you can find it in many places. You can adventure in places you have been before, simply by changing your path, by doing something different. You can find wilderness in the smallest places, in the cracks of the pavement, in the trees that you long to touch at the side of a quiet road. I have found much wildness and it has enriched me, I wish to honor this wildness more.
☾ Create & Cocoon
This week I opened a 2nd shop on Etsy, named Sacred Cocoon Knits. As the Autumn draws ever closer and I feel her fingers dance cool breezes over my skin I have felt the call to pick up my hook again and get lost in my stitches, one after the other. Throughout my life I have had the experience, every few months, of being wrapped in a cocoon, of undergoing a metamorphosis. During these times I often feel very quiet, and this reflects in my outwards self because I talk very little during these times too. I wander in daydreams and thoughts, my mind becomes naturally still. I have been fascinated by cocoons for many years and when thinking of a new name for my shop, which will be stocked entirely with woolies and knits, cocoon came up within me as perfect. My natural inclination with my crochet work is to create cocoon like structures, I am drawn towards cowls that envelop the neck, the face, the head with gentle caresses and protection, or otherwise I am working on huge blankets that could be wrapped around you from head to toe, a complete cocoon. My work creates in me a quiet place, a place for contemplation and growth and discovery without the need for words. I love to see others sink their hands into my work, to wrap it around them and close their eyes with a deep sigh. I know this feeling that my work envokes in others, because as I create it I feel the very same.
Autumn and Winter are my favorite times to work with yarn, curled up beside the fire with my rats tucked up in the covers with me, working in the early morning or the late evening.
I have included the picture of the bowl filled with herbs, the picture of my altar as a reminder to Connect. I want to connect more fully with everything, with my loved ones, with the divine and with myself. Connection is so important, to be able to share, to give and receive love and energy is a pure blessing, I want to engage more fully in my blessings and I know that when I do I will feel their effects to the fullest and most blissful extent.
☾ Focus On The Truth Of The Situation
I have included the picture of my Gratitude Journal to remind me to keep my focus on the truth of any situation. Lately I have had some difficult times at work with patients ringing who have been very rude to me, accusing me and blaming me for their pain and making my time difficult. I have gotten off the phone at work a few times so angry that I shook like a leaf, astonished that people could be so horrible. One evening I came home and Steven held me as I cried, feeling as though I just couldn't deal with it. He spoke very wise words to me, as I laid my head on his chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart. He told me "It's not about you, they're not really shouting at you".
I know this is true, and it is something I need to keep in mind when I'm facing somebody who is intent on ripping into me. It really isn't about me, usually it happens when they want an appointment and I can't give them one. They're in pain and they want help, and they can't get it. I understand and sympathize with them, but when I'm talking to somebody and it gets heated I forget that and get scared and angry that I'm being attacked when it isn't my fault. It would be so easy to just believe that everybody can be nasty, or that nobody is really nice, a lot of people believe that, but that is not who I am. That is not the energy I wish to hold in my heart, of negativity and cynicism. I am optimistic, I believe that people are good, I believe that is the truth. People may be nasty, they may make threats or be rude, and that is not acceptable behavior. However it is not the truth of who they are as a person, it is a reaction of being in pain and not knowing what to do. They are not shouting at me personally, how could they when I'm a faceless, nameless person on the end of a phone? They know nothing about me and are of no real threat to me, and I do not need to take on the anger they throw.
I need to focus on the wonderful things that surround me, for I believe that they truly weigh out the negatives. I want to keep my focus on what nourishes me and brush off that which could cloud me.
☾ Live From The Heart
I was incredibly called towards hearts whilst making this board, especially crystal hearts. I draw hearts on everything that touches me or means something special to me, the borders of the pages in my favorite books are littered with colored hearts that I draw in at my favorite parts. I sign every note that I send to my Etsy customers with a heart. I sometimes sign off emails as 'Lottie Love' with a heart. I have always walked in this world with an open heart, for better or for worse, and although I have sometimes wished I could (in my darkest, most painful times) I have never shut off my heart from the world. Being open hearted comes naturally to me, I feel every emotion so strongly and above all else I love fiercely, passionately and completely. I want to remember to follow my heart, to listen to it's clear voice as it guides me, to trust in my heart, my instinct, my intuition and myself. I want to remember not only to love others but to love myself. When I live and walk in love I am walking my true path, and I feel it with every step, with every beat of my heart.
☾ Love Is...
I have included the quote because it sends shivers down my spine and dancing through my veins. I read recently that the shivers you get when you hear a favorite piece of music is actually endorphins being released into your blood, and I love that idea, I love the thought that you can actually feel the positive reaction and release in your body. I noticed as I am writing this that this board is very focused on love, my intuition is telling me to live my life with love, to live my dreams with love.
☾ To Thine Own Self Be True
I have included the picture of the snake as a reminder to remain true to myself and my own inner nature. I actually found this picture whilst looking for pictures of hearts and I have no idea why it popped up, but it just grabbed a hold of me so I know I was absolutely meant to find it, such wonderful serendipity.
My Chinese zodiac sign is the Snake, I am an Earth Snake to be precise (interestingly my mama is a Wood Snake! Two snakey babes we are!) and I identify strongly with the symbolism of the snake. To me the snake is powerful, strong and perfectly attuned. It is confident, self assured, quiet. The snake can be fierce and formidable, it can protect itself when it needs to, yet it also takes time out for itself, it is not constantly on the offensive, it rests when it needs to. I feel that I need to tap into my own strength more fully and really acknowledge my own power so that I feel confident, secure and strong at all times. I am in the process of learning how to be firm, how to put my foot down when needs be, how to tell people what I expect from them and to make the worth of my time more apparent. That can be scary when you are used to letting people do whatever they want whenever they want, but it is something I am working on.
The snake is also transformative to me, through the shedding of it's skin. The snake tells me that it is safe to change and that as I change and grow it is natural that I will let go of some things. The snake does not lose it's whole body when it changes but it loses every part that no longer serves it. I think that I can be afraid of changes, even when they need to be made and will have a positive outcome, because I get it into my head that to change one thing I will have to change everything. The snake tells me that is not the case, and there is no reason to fear change. The snake is also my true voice, and I hear her strong and clear, especially when talking to others.
A few days ago somebody said to me 'I'm scared of change' and I responded by saying 'whether you like it or not, change happens. Time does not stand still, things move forwards. You can face change with fear, and it will still happen, or you can face it with excitement and be joyful that it is happening.'
Snake shows me how to change that which no longer serves me whilst keeping the things that are going wonderfully for me right now. She shows me that to cling to the outworn is to drag my old skin around with me, though it serves me no purpose. By releasing and letting go I am able to move forward confidently, looking to the present instead of having to look behind me at the past.