Good Evening my dears,
I've been contemplating a post for the past few days, but up until tonight I had no clear idea for a topic in mind. Then, as I was going about my business elsewhere, it popped up in my mind. When things appear just like that I know I'm meant to write about them, or do them, or whatever the case may be. So when this idea popped into my head I had a really good think about it, and decided to give in. At first I was resistant, and in a moment you'll see why. You see, the idea that popped into my head was "You need to talk about Angels."
Angels. There are so many thoughts and feelings in the world about Angels, and they are one of the most well known of spiritual entities or creatures. Angels seem to be a 'safe' topic to talk about in some regards, they're something that so many people have heard of, so many people know what they are or have their own ideas about what they are
My own opinion of Angels has always been decidedly negative. I can't even say that I'm not interested in Angels, because I've spent so much time being so vehemently 'disinterested' that I don't think it would make sense to claim I have no interest in them. I've spent so much time in the past talking about how little I think of them and claiming to have no interest in them whatsoever, but if I really didn't have any interest I wouldn't have spent nearly so much time discussing them!
I think that a large part of my negative thinking about Angels comes from their association with Christianity, which for a very long time I really loathed. I went through quite a long period of feeling very angry about Christianity on the whole, and therefore anything that I associated with it I hated by extension. I've come to have much more of an acceptance of Christianity than I used to, although it certainly isn't my chosen path and has many elements that I'm not fond of. I ultimately do believe that Christianity can lead to positive and loving actions in this world and even though I don't share the same core values or ideas, I can accept that good things can come out of Christianity.
All the same, I've spent a much longer time feeling negatively about the religion than I have positively, and Angels have been completely wrapped up in that negativity from day one.
As I delved further and further into Paganism I noticed another element appearing in my disregard of Angels. I didn't like how saccharine they were! Angels to me always seemed to be portrayed as overly sweet, too perfect. I felt as though the 'real' angels were anything but sweet and kind, and this made me feel that everybody who thought angels were so lovely were just kidding themselves. Angels seemed to represent everything that I disliked about humanity, the desire to cover up the negative with a fake positive, the willingness to ignore suffering and pain in favor of idolising these super perfect beings.
Up until very recently (as recent as this year!) I've closed my eyes to Angels entirely, dismissed them, turned my back on them and totally refused to give them any real unbiased thought. However, that is changing.
Over the past year I have noticed the frequency with which Angels appear in my life. It happens over and over and over again, and as I was thinking about this post today I heard something very clearly inside me say "no matter how much you run away, we will still be here". Whether I like it or not, angels are definitely present in my life!
For instance I have two dimples in my shoulders which are exactly where wings would sprout from. My mum has the same dimples, and I remember very clearly that whenever I asked about them as a little girl she would say "that's where your wings fell off when you came to Earth."
It wasn't said in a negative way, as though I'd lost my wings, more as though they would simply grow back when the time was right for me to leave. My mum is not particularly Christian and I wasn't raised with any particular religious beliefs, so this idea about being an angel and having wings didn't seem to have any specific basis to me and still doesn't.
I've had people come up to me in the street and tell me that they think I'm an angel, people have called me 'an angel of mercy' on more than one occasion and I've had people tell me that they absolutely believe that I'm an angel living as a human being. People have reported seeing an aura of pure white light around me or seeing a halo in my aura. I've had clients that are extremely interested in Angels and fully believe in them and have talked to me about them a lot. I never raise the subject first and yet the regularity with which it naturally comes up is quite astonishing.
My best friend and I have something of a ritual whereby we travel to Glastonbury and stay there together once or twice a year. It is always a very special and dear time to me as she lives in Colorado, so seeing her is always a treat. On all but 1 of the times we have visited Glastonbury we have stayed in a hotel absolutely packed to the rafters with angels! The owner absolutely loves them, and the decor of the whole place is full of angels. There is angel wallpaper, angel art, angel statues, angel cards... angel everything!
I remember sitting at the table with my friend the last time we visited, looking at all of the Angels in our room. We both have very similar views on angels, that view being that we just 'don't get the hype', but I remember this time was different. My friend told me about how she had received a vision of the Angel Metatron and that she had begun working with him.
I told her of an auric reading that I'd had done and that the lady had told me very clearly 'you have a guardian angel with you, somebody who follows you all the time', a being that showed up as a yellow light by my side. When I first heard her say 'guardian angel' I wrote it off and gave it the biggest eyeroll I could muster, but the words stuck with me. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that she might have been picking up on another spirit or being, because I do fully believe in a wide variety of spirits, nothing seemed to sit right. I didn't want to admit it, but the term 'angel' was the only thing that felt right.
I've also had an experience that I would call angelic, and although it happened over a year ago now I can remember it as though it happened yesterday. I was walking down the street when I suddenly felt a huge gust of wind around me, and then I had the sensation of a pair of wings springing out of my back and unfurling. They were absolutely massive and shone with pink and white light and as I walked I felt as though my feet were floating slightly above the ground. I've never lost the sensation of having them since that day.
As I've been writing this post I've been thinking about what the purpose of it is. Yet from the moment I had the thought to make this post I've also had the reason why I needed to make it. This is me finally letting my walls down, finally letting go of my judgement and close mindedness about angels. It is so easy to be open minded about things you already like or agree with, but much more of a test when it is something you've railed against for as long as you can remember.
So, this is me showing up. This is me being still, opening my mind and heart and simply listening. This is me forgiving and letting go and expanding. This is me growing. This is my acceptance, and my willingness to listen to what I have always refused before. This is my trust that for whatever reasons, whether I 'believe' or not, angelic work is on the cards for me.
I'm ready, lets do this.