New World

My life has become so strange as of late, I don't think there is any way I could really explain it even with all the words in the world. Maybe that's the magic of things, the magic of being happy. Perhaps there is no other way to describe happiness, not really...

All I can say is that I feel like I'm asleep, dreaming. Sometimes I get a little nervous thinking that I might suddenly stir and wake up and find out it never happened. Slowly it's coming to me... this is real, this is not a dream, you are here... but why? I keep asking that, why me? How is it for me?

I've unearthed a lot of parts of myself in the last week that I was either totally ignoring or didn't realise existed. They're soft parts of myself, parts that aren't formed properly, I'm unearthing insecurities I didn't realise I had. I somehow feel like I don't deserve what I've got, what I've had... why me? It's not like I'm a bad person, like I deserve something bad... I just feel as though I'm somehow not good enough for what I do have and what I am getting.

But I'm getting better, by realising these parts of myself I'm setting them free, loose, acknowledging them. For a long time I've held a part inside me that was in pain somehow, sad... really sad. I would try to hide it from everyone and nuture it, take care of it by myself. It's like my young self, that's what I see in my mind...

I always thought I had to look after it by myself but I don't think it's true. I think it's okay to let it out a little now, bring the little me to the top instead of just protecting her.

I went on a wonderful date yesterday, we went to see Harry Potter at the cinema, had a little picnic and fed all the swans on the Marina. There are so many of them!

Surprise picture! I didn't know this was being taken at all.

They were all clammering about for bread, ducks and geese also got involved eventually.

Another surprise picture! I don't often post pictures of me grinning like this do I? I feel a little self concious about my smile but I just love this picture. This is my face all of the time.

It looks like a little swan conga going on in the front there doesn't it? Like they're all playing tag with eachother.

My boyfriend hadn't fed the ducks (or swans) since he was a child so we decided to do it together ^^

I look so serious don't I? I have no idea why, my face is usually plastered with a grin.

I like the water dripping from their beaks, swans are so lovely. I love the sound they make too, they were all so excited about the food they were calling to eachother.

Steven ^^ he took his hair down for me to take a picture. You can't see so clearly here but it's as long as mine is!

^_- we have contrasting eyes. His are a wonderful shade of blue, so light and pretty.

They have lots of boats on the Marina, there are rides about and around the city at the moment, I'd like to go on one.

I love when the clouds look like this, whispy and light. It's so beautiful.

My little chair in the corner there, I sit there almost every morning with Steven and eat my breakfast. I like the weeds in his garden, there's something so wild and free about it, letting them grow freely like that.

Ivy! I love Ivy and it seems to be my own personal plant, everywhere I go there's always Ivy somewhere. I even have a baby Ivy in my garden. Red Ivy is beautiful isn't it? Crimson is a better word. There is a little alley here just covered with Ivy, like a secret garden.

These berries are such a lovely colour, they look black but really they're a very dark, rich red.

I have no idea what these are, they feel nice to the touch though.

More Ivy! As you can see the greenery theme is ever present here isn't it?

I hope you all are well and happy wherever you may be in this world my sweetlings, be happy.

New Header

Oh my gosh, I woke up this morning to see this beautiful thing in my inbox, made by my good friend Ngoc. You're such a sweetheart dear! Thank you so much for it.

Isn't it lovely? It really sums up Dear Sweetlings I think, it's so light and delicate and wonderful.

Hazy days

My days are feeling so strange now.
Big changes never really bode well with me but this is what was forecast, complete and sudden change, a new era.... how odd that it turned out to be so true.
Things work in such unusual ways don't you think?
Sometimes you don't even realise something until it's upon you, sometimes the words spilling out of your mouth catch even you by surprise.

Yes it's so strange, my heart is never in one place right now. I'm growing towards a place I think I know but can't be certain of. It's a fickle heart and weak, I can feel it growing now though, becoming stronger, becoming better.

I will be a better person.

Fae Wedding

Pictures taken from (http://www.kissthegroom.com/?p=2413)

Isn't this so magical? A faerie wedding... it's so beautiful, the costumes are so detailed and what lovely surroundings!

White Mermaid

Today I decided to take some photographs of myself, I haven't felt like I had anything worth taking photos of, in regards to myself, in a while now so I feel like this definitely broke me out of a rut.

I wanted to take pictures to show off my room a little but once I had taken the photos I realised I didn't look very good so I edited them. I wanted to show some sort of mermaid idea here, red hair is the perfect colour for mermaids and sirens to me, it has a magical quality I think.

I wanted everything to be very light, soft and quite ethereal. I hope you will enjoy these pictures.

I'm thinking of making the first (or a combination of a few) into a new header for Dear Sweetlings, what do you think?

Lavender Lavender

Hello everybody,

I've finally managed to set up my computer and internet in my new house, I've been a while without it having to browse using my phone so it feels very nice to sit down at a real computer once more. It also means I can share new photos with you and build up my sites for Magical Monday again! I'm really excited to start doing proper posts again, I have missed updating Dear Sweetlings properly very much.

Having only just moved into our new house very recently, only a week ago, I'm still trying to get used to the feeling of it. You have to live in your new house until it feels like you, it's not easy at first. I'm the type of person who likes to feel cozy, having this much space is a little strange for me!

Last year I lived in a little studio which was just far too small for myself and my boyfriend, now we have a proper house with three bedrooms and a lounge with a bay window and everything! I've been so excited about getting to this moment, living truly with space around me to fill with trinkets and possessions and to make my own.

At the moment everything is quite cluttered and all over the place but we're slowly starting to put everything together. On Monday my parents are coming to my house with my bed so I can finally start to put my dream room together. Although myself and my boyfriend obviously share a room I have one of the spare bedrooms as my own little space to put a bed, my consoles, my makeup table and such things. I have a vision for it, I hope to show you all soon.

For now I'd like to show you a little plant I bought for my back garden recently, a garden is surely something to celebrate.

It's a little plot of thriving French Lavender, it smells lovely when you rub your fingers on the stems and it makes me feel sleepy and peaceful. In my little patch of dirt in the garden there is a weed that the bumble bees love right now, I don't want to rip it up. Because they're already there I thought I would introduce the Lavender too, they seem a little shy of it right now but they're slowly beginning to visit it.

They look like Tender Flora, the flower that grows in my favourite game.

A quick sneaky glimpse of my little room with the window open.